We Need To Keep An Eye On Jesy Nelson, Because It’s Only Going To Get Worse

Note: The writer in question is not a mental health professional. However, given personal experience and past studies, this piece was written with the best intentions; Jesy Nelson is on a self-destructive path and her mental health needs to be prioritized. With that being said, allow yourself to keep an open mind as you read this piece. Numerous examples and scenarios have been included to back up the concerns.

To put it bluntly, I’m absolutely fucking terrified for Jesy Nelson.

These past nine months have been an absolute mess, but the real shit-show began back in May, when her behavior and excessive tanning was called out in a now-deleted Buzzfeed article. Things died down, but when the 30-year-old singer was asked about the “blackfishing” allegations in an interview with The Guardian back in August, she gave a neutral response that further angered many of her long-time supporters. Nelson said that it was never her intention to offend anyone, let alone her fans who identified as persons of color.

But I’m not here to elaborate on Nelson’s excessive tanning, or to argue the “morality” of it. I want the conversation to shift towards the one thing that is absolutely crucial in this moment: the decline of her mental health.

There have been so many signs that Nelson is not in a good place, even with the launch of her solo career.

• Projection and hypocrisy: For someone who doesn’t want others to talk about her body or appearance, Nelson takes no issue with calling past lovers “chubby” or commenting on the fact that Edwards, Pinnock, and Thirlwall have skinny, “teeny-tiny” bodies. While in Little Mix, Nelson had projected her own issues onto her bandmates, telling a once-anorexic Thirlwall that she “didn’t put on weight” and asking Edwards, “How are you not fat?” while knowing her troubled history with a slow metabolism; the fact that both of these instances were done in front of thousands of viewers during a livestream makes it worse.
• Excessive denial: Continuing to carry herself around like she’s done nothing wrong. She thinks those who are genuinely trying to hold her accountable are “just looking for a reason to hate her” since she left Little Mix. Furthermore, anytime the blackfishing/racially-ambiguous allegations are brought up, Nelson seemingly shrugs it off with, “Well, I wasn’t aware that’s how people felt” or “It was never my intention to offend people,” all while continuing to do the same problematic behavior that keeps getting her called out. When commenting on the dark skin she had in the “Boyz” music video, Nelson said: “I’m just really lucky that, as a white woman, I’m able to tan so dark,” elaborating on the fact that, before filming, she’d spent three weeks in Antigua.
• Impulsive behavior / acting without thinking: Nelson appears to have several instances where she thinks without speaking. Some of her remarks have been quite damning, such as when she told Edwards that she “[sung] like a Black woman” while sitting next to Pinnock, or claiming that she’d “go gay” for women because her past heterosexual relationships have all fizzled. And there was the time she recorded her friend saying the N-word repeatedly and uploading the video to Instagram (only deleting it when people called her out, not because she herself realized how problematic and insensitive it was).
• Manic episodes and mood swings: Nelson’s state of mania has been extremely prominent in the last few years; she’s either full of energy, talking very fast, agitated, “over the moon,” has moments of inflated self-esteem, and/or has illogical thinking.
• Agitation and defensiveness: Nelson keeps insisting that “Boyz” is a “really good song,” despite the mixed-to-negative reviews from critics. She repeats the notion that her “current style” is based on “what she grew up with,” even though she was raised in a predominantly white suburb in London. During her time in the group, the singer was noticeably agitated towards Pinnock, especially while they filmed Little Mix: The Search. This coincided around the time of the “Sweet Melody” music video, where Nelson claims that Pinnock “spoke to her privately [about Nelson darkening her skin].” Now knowing Nelson’s pattern of behavior (and mental health history), she may have very well felt “attacked.”

• Way more lying than there should be: “I wasn’t aware that’s how people felt” — despite being called out as far back at late-2017 and admitting that you purposely search for what people are saying about you online. “It was never [talked about] when I was in the group” — but it was…because, again, you were held accountable for darkening your skin back in 2017. “I was with [Pinnock and Thirlwall] for nine years and they never said anything” — well, because you tend to overreact and lash out and dodge all accountability, but also it’s not their responsibility to educate you just because they’re women of color. Also, Pinnock and her colleagues tried to educate you on your problematic behavior and excessive tanning at least two years before you left the group…so there’s no one to blame but yourself.
• An exaggerated sense of well-being and self-confidence: Nelson was hyping “Boyz” up way too much; even a few long-time Little Mix fans weren’t excited for the release. Again, she continues to push with “[Boyz] is a really good song!” and seems to display blatant ignorance towards its backlash and reception. After leaving the group, Nelson kept repeating: “I’m genuinely in the best headspace I’ve ever been in.” The other day she posted a video to her Instagram Story where she was bopping her head to Minaj’s verse on “Boyz,” and proceeds to “shoo away” at the camera when the lyrics ‘Got all these jelly bitches actin’ real messy’ came up. (With this latter example, it was right after a slew of scathing reviews from various outlets, including NPR.) If this is how you view people who simply disagree with you, or have an unfavorable opinion, what’s it gonna take for you to understand that these aren’t the “villains” you should be worried about?
• Surrounding/associating herself with enablers and other toxic people: When doing an Instagram Live with Nicki Minaj, the rapper defended Nelson’s actions, claiming that the backlash had to do with people “wanting to end [Nelson’s] career,” and all Nelson did was nod in response. Nelson has also been accused of thinking that she “gets a pass” for the “Boyz” music video, just because she had the approval of two Black artists (Minaj and P. Diddy), who are extremely problematic in their own right. (Let’s not forget that Minaj is currently trying to distract the public from the fact that her husband has been accused of rape; Minaj herself has been accused of trying to silence his victim.) Let’s also note that there were several times when Edwards, Pinnock, and Thirlwall held Nelson accountable. Who’s doing that now? Nelson’s management and PR team seems to follow the notion of “any publicity is good publicity.” Other than Nelson’s mother, who’s genuinely going to be there for her when her next breakdown comes through? She’s excluded some of the best people who’ve genuinely cared about her, and her enablers will scatter like bugs when it comes to an actual episode of Nelson’s mental health. Recently, one of Nelson’s well-known “supporters” (nohun_) has gone on a vicious tirade, unleashing several derogatory and borderline-racist remarks towards Pinnock, clearing taking Nelson’s side. And what is Nelson doing? Hiding, yet still allowing herself to be associated with, and mentioned by, these people. Because, oh sure, her PR team knows what’s best.
• Latching on to past trauma: Since her departure, Nelson continues to talk about how awful she felt while in Little Mix. She mentions how things got worse over time and, when she does, the “bad times” tremendously outweigh any mention of the “good times.” Granted, one could say that continuing to talk about your trauma is what helps you heal. In Nelson’s case, that’s all she can focus on and, even then, she’s telling this to thousands and thousands of people — not her therapist. What’s even more disgusting: Nelson’s team takes no issue with her trauma being used to promote every ounce of her solo career.

• The “disconnect” from reality: Nelson, now well-aware of the backlash and criticism against her, makes no effort to change. The best way to put it: she’s striving on a fantasy by continuing to appropriate certain aesthetics, despite being asked to stop. There are certain moments where she speaks as if she’s on cloud nine, either purposely or unintentionally ignoring anything bad that’s going on in her life. Her body dysmorphia is also leading her to believe that she’s “only fat” when she stands next to smaller individuals; while everyone deals with body image differently, Nelson appears to do everything but deal with it privately and professionally.
• Anxiety and paranoia: Nelson has admitted, at least twice, that she believes people view her as “selfish” for leaving Little Mix. During her free time, she prefers to stay at home or locks herself inside a studio.
• Previous suicide attempt: This is the most alarming. The fact that Nelson attempted to take her own life back in November 2013 has everyone on the fence as to whether or not she should be held accountable. What I don’t see anyone talking about is that fact that her PR team is allowing such blatant exploitation while knowing her mental health history. They can limit her Instagram comments or keep her off of social media, but how will that make it all better in the long-run? They’ve done everything but recommend that she takes time off to get professional help. People who’ve attempted suicide in the past are likely to try again in the future, regardless of how long time has passed; it depends on their support system and treatments, or lack thereof. In Nelson’s case, I don’t want to think about or “predict” another attempt she may have but…at the rate things are going, and as awful as it sounds, I don’t think anyone would be surprised.

In conclusion, Nelson needs to surround herself with better people and she needs to understand that taking time away from the spotlight will be beneficial to her in the long-run. Nobody is telling her to stop writing music. Nobody is telling her that she can’t have a solo career. But also, nobody is fucking telling her to pause, take a deep breath, and reconsider her options. They are pushing her and enabling her.

And so many people wanna argue with stupid shit such as, “Well, why did Leigh-Anne send DMs to an influencer to expose Jesy?” Who fucking cares? Who cares if those messages are real or not? If she’s offended, she’s offended. And why are you forgetting that she spoke to Jesy about these issues so many times…and in private. So, ultimately, what was Leigh-Anne supposed to do? What about Jade? Were they supposed to call her out publicly? Especially while she was still in the group? Doesn’t matter. Either way, they would’ve been seen as villains.

So shift this shitty, better-than-everyone energy of you being offended on Jesy’s behalf — and wanting to defend her “as a dedicated fan” — and look at the bigger picture: she is suffering. You all want new music. You want to know how she feels about Little Mix. Really? No. Stop it. Recognize that this girl needs help. And that’s not to insult her. This “call out” is because you all need to wake up and realize that it’s really only going to get worse from here if nobody takes these actions seriously.

You wanted to be a dedicated, passionate supporter of Jesy Nelson? You can start by recognizing that that she needs to take a break.